Friday, November 26, 2004
Haix...sob sob..just chat finish wif leshia mei/di...hahax..ya...just made 2 new mei/di...leshia say i wan cal mei or di oso ok..beth say she my mei..cos she str8...dunno y feeling so down n just feel like pouring my heart out here..haf the urge to cut again..but beth n leshia say i dare they fan lian wif mi...damn bad rite..den if they 2 ignore den all my jie,kor,di,mei all wil ignore mi liaox...haix...life suddenly sucks again...penknifes n panadols are all i can turn to now...tml moi best fren goin shanghai liao...dunno who i gonna tok to when she not here...die liao...wun go bball if she not here..n haf to rot at home..ahhhhhhhhh....y am i here in tis stupid cruel world...or shld i just die n stop everybodies misery n lighten everybodies burden lehx...???Dunno...haix...the only song tat can express how i feelin now is simple plan's "welcome to my life"...haish...i seem to find tat the ppl close to mi are drifting away frm mi...n i jus feel like i need a big break frm the world..My mum sicks...she just doesn't understand mi..can't my family give mi the freedom i want...the things i need...not only material things...emotionly n physically too..have they ever stopped to think bout tat...i dunno...i reali dunno..who do i like...???i haf no idea..i'm just lost n confused wif no idea of wad i'm practically feeling now..!!!I tot god said i was sent down for a reason...i can't seem to find tat reason...n i can't find wad uses i haf or wad talents i hold...i just feel nothingness...is tat bad or is it good...y am i goin 2.7 next yr...wif nobody i noe...nobody tat understands mi...nobody close to mi...i'll miss all my frens...haix...yawn...neva sleep properly since sch close...Just can't somethings bothering mi..but the problem is tat i dun know wad tat is... =..< ....kkiex...i'm done for now..maybe a longer tag later...kiss it